The 3 Sides To Self

Welcome back to those who have been here before and hello to any new readers. In my last 2 posts I introduced myself and spoke a little bit about the topic of Self-Help, how some of us are reluctant to pursue it and why it’s important to push past self imposed resistance to bettering our selves.

This week we will begin the journey of actually prioritising You. So let’s get into it.

To begin, we need to fully understand what “Self” is. After all, how can you prioritise You if you don’t have a decent understanding of who you are. There are many theories around this topic. My theory is just that, a theory. It is how I look at my Self and my place in this world. It may fit well with you or it may not. Either way I hope you get something from my explanation, no matter how small it may seem at the time.

When I talk about prioritising you, I am speaking about not only making time for yourself but also setting goals and finding direction. To get the most out of this, I think of my Self as three separate, yet intimately linked aspects. They are my Physical, Social and Spiritual Self. The reason I see these areas as being separate aspects that all overlap and inter-relate with each other is that it helps to focus on what’s important at various times in my life. Before we go much further, I want to clarify the Spiritual aspect. This does not need to be every Sunday at Church or chanting in the moonlight while playing the drums. These things may be right for some people but for others it may be as simple as spending time in nature. Slowing down, mindfulness, allowing yourself to “be” in the moment (For me personally, time in the ocean, by the lake or riding my motorbike are my spiritual exercises at the moment). This topic will be explored in future posts.

Our lives and our happiness are fluid. That is, we are constantly flowing through different states of being. We all have times where we are happy, sad, angry, calm, motivated, positive or struggling. By being able to look at our Self as being comprised of three different areas, we can focus our efforts on the area that is needed at that time.

For example, if you want to improve your overall happiness or contentment in life, try looking at how each of these areas are being balanced. Are you “full” in one area at the expense of another? Are you spending time at the gym, fulfilling your physical and social aspects but with out realising it, a little bit empty in the spiritual side of life?

Alternatively, do you invest a lot of yourself in spiritual activities which at the same time withdraw you from the physical world and those in your immediate circle of influence?

They key I find is to strike a balance between the three aspects of Self. This balance will change as life does but by being aware of it, we can ensure our investment of time and effort is in the right place.

The three aspects are also especially important when we set ourselves goals. Goal setting is important and will be covered in more detail in future posts to give it the time it deserves. Briefly put though, before you begin to set goals for yourself and your life, spend some time thinking about the reason or motivation behind wanting the change in the first place. Which aspect of Self does this motivation stem from? By understanding this, you may be in a better place to identify possible obstacles to success or achievement of your goal.

So remember, while there is only one You, there is more than one part of you. Your whole Self is influenced and shaped by multiple aspects. But most importantly, YOU are in control of how those aspects shape you and your life.

Prioritise You. You’re too important to be second on your own list.

Let me know if you have any questions or would like any of these ideas explained in more detail in future posts.

What part of your Self will you prioritise this week?

Dan