Empty Spaciousness and BEing. Two concepts that I have to admit, confused the hell out of me at first.
How can I be happy when I’m empty? Aren’t I supposed to be ‘doing’ something…. filling the emptiness I feel?
Because after all, this is what we are shown and taught as we grow. We have to ‘go out and get what makes us happy’. And our experiences back that up. When we sit around and do nothing, boredom sets in, or worse, depression. When we are active and interacting with others, excitement and fulfilment are often found.
In addition, from a young age we learn that if we don’t claim a stake in the prize pool of life, someone else will get it first. Competition and achievement drives a lot of our lives even at a subconscious level.
I believe that while this is true, the confusion can happen when we attach that happiness and fulfilment to the activities and people outside of us rather than with the energy we bring to the situations ourselves.
Our society and culture is one that values achievement over process. The end result over the journey. And so, we all strive for that achievement, with the process just being a necessary part, often over looked or seen as something to ‘get through’ on the way to the prize. The relationship, the house, the perfect job, all balanced with enough time for the fun hobbies and recreation.
I don’t know about you but when I have come across those inevitable rough patches in my life, I find myself questioning this, asking “what is the fucking point?”
When these things that are outside of myself fall out of my life or seem like it’s all too hard, I am left scrambling for something else to fill the gap, to fill the void of happiness that those things did. For me, it was alcohol and cigarettes and various other addictive behaviours.
As I’ve gone through a massive shift in my own consciousness, that started with me looking at ‘how I am’ and ended up with a much deeper…. ‘Who I am’, I’ve found that while I am who I’ve always been, I am also so much more and at the same time, I’ve cast off a whole heap of shit that wasn’t me.
In that process, I have come to an understanding of BEing. Something that we are conditioned out of aiming for in today’s busy life of doing. It wasn’t an easy transition and one that I need to be aware of daily. It’s a mindset shift. To realise that the present moment is the the only real reality and there is a vast difference from ‘being’ in the present moment and simply ‘doing’ in the present moment.
And while I’m not there 100% yet, I am moving towards that place of empty spaciousness. It may be different for everyone but for me, it is a process of accepting who I am (the good as well as the parts I’ve hidden), letting go of past wounds as well as expectations or anxieties surrounding the unknown future.
And here’s the strange thing, the less I ‘do’ and the more I ‘Be’ I find myself feeling happier.
And
The more layers I shed and the more spaciousness I allow, then the more of what I actually want is finding it’s way into my life.
And this is the best part, that question that I always had when shit hit the fan and I lost what I thought made me me, that ‘What’s the fucking point?’ question… The answer to that starts to become clearer. Life stops being so much a competition and race for the prize and becomes something much more fulfilling.
A life that is so simple and natural and easy that it seems illogical (and anyone that knows me personally will understand why it took my logical mind so long to accept these concepts).
It’s such a paradox but one that I’m coming to enjoy.
So if you’re not sure about taking on the concepts of ‘Empty Spaciousness’ and ‘Being’, but you are sure that you want more ease and flow in your life, I highly recommend considering it.
As usual, feel free to comment or share. And definitely get in touch if you have any questions.
https://www.facebook.com/dankeeffy/
Dan OKeeffe Coaching 