As my learning and growth continue, I am finding something interesting. I am coming across the same lessons over and over again. Now you might think this means it’s because I am not learning what I need to learn, and to be honest yeah that is the case sometimes, but then there are other lessons that I am being shown again but at a deeper level. Or maybe its me being able to see the next layer of meaning more clearly.
One of these recurring lessons is that of reflection.
I am talking specifically about how the world around us is a reflection of what is happening within us. I know I have written about this previously in my post “Where are you looking” and way back in 2020 in my post “As above, so below” but this time I want to talk about how it relates to our habits and addictions.
When I took this photo of a rockpool and saw my daughters face reflected in the water, I was reminded of my previous understanding of how our external world often reflects our internal world. I then got to thinking about how this reflection is also seen in our habits and behaviours.
As some of you may know from my recent Facebook post, I have been off alcohol for 5 months now. A little further back (about 2 years) I gave up smoking as well. In addition to these substance habits/addictions, I have also struggled in my time with addictions to thought patterns and emotions (yes that is way more common than most people realise, and probably a good topic for another post).
When I gave up smoking, someone very close to me told me that addictions were often just a symptom of something much deeper. At the time I agreed but didn’t delve too deeply to find out what my deeper issue was. I think subconsciously I was afraid of what I might find.
I successfully quit smoking and as I mentioned, more recently gave up drinking. It was when I gave up drinking that I was forced to take that deeper look inside to see where these habits were coming from. As I no longer had my usual crutch to lean on, my ‘go to’ escapes from reality, I knew I had to find that core wound, the deeper issue that the habits and addictions were distracting me from.
What I found was not easy to accept. I won’t go in to detail here because this post isn’t about my personal experiences. This post is about bringing the conversation to the fact that when we want to make a change to our habits like drinking, smoking and eating, yes we can do many things to stop the behaviour but if we don’t address the underlying cause, the actual root of the problem, then that habit or behaviour will only be replaced by something else that, in time, will become equally as destructive.
This may sound like it’s all doom and gloom but it’s not. There are many ways to overcome these root problems without having to be confronted by past traumas or painful situations that sparked the problem in the first place. And like I said we can always simply get the patches or the gum and stop the behaviours on the surface level.
But from my personal experience, it is much more liberating to take the hard road. Face your demons head on. When you do, you might be surprised at how long they have been hanging around and how many different forms they have taken over the years.
Most habits and destructive behaviours began as a way of surviving a particular event or situation. It was our Mind’s way of protecting us or giving us what we needed at the time. But now, we want to move out of survival mode and into thriving mode and these behaviours are no longer appropriate for the job.
That is all it is. Outdated modes of operating. They are reflections of what we are holding inside ourselves.
If you want to change, you can. It can be easy. It can be lasting. And for those who are really keen to clean up their crap, it can be extremely freeing.
If you want to chat about making changes for yourself, taking control of your habits, get in contact with me. I am passionate about helping people improve their life and I have the experience and skills necessary to do that.
Thanks again for taking the time to read my thoughts. I hope to hear from you.
Dan O’Keeffe
Dan OKeeffe Coaching 